Our plumber installed a sprinkler system in our kitchen. Now, this isn't literally true, but it is the crack i made yesterday when, after two days of thawing and patching our basement pipes the reinstalation of water into the pipes resulted in multile jets of water raining down from the kitchen ceiling. Prior to this time, the only leak from this ceiling had been the dripping sewage from the leaking drainage pipe. That had been dripping onto our dishrack and sink for a few days, and i had already attempted twice to fix it. The first time we did not yet realize that it was sewage, the second time there was little to no doubt. Of course by that time we had a sink full of brown snow and the icy sheen of frozen water and waste conmingled. Too late, i tried to extract our spaghetti strainer from its clutches. Alas, it was no good.
We have not had water properly for several days now. Ironically, the waste water emerging from the ceiling was the only water running in the building. On Tuesday night, the night before mom's long awaited Dr.'s appointment, bubs and traveled into the frozen basement to attempt to thaw the pipes with a hair dryer. He swore, and started freaking out. "i just want to burn this place down." "No you can't bubs, we don't have any insurance." These are the sort of conversations we sometimes have. What spawned this surge in profanity????? The pipes were not only frozen, but completely disconnected in two spots, which was threatening to pull the entire assembly down. Oh, and to add insult to injury- the water meter was smashed.
Then came me calling the plumber, who graciously took pity and came the next day. Day one of two where i skipped my internship. He installed a baseboard heater to our wall, to try and keep the temperature down there at least above freezing, and set to work.......
....... and came back the next day with help to continue. They fixed all the pipes downstairs, turned the water on, and caused a small geyser to erupt from the back of our washing machine. They fixed this and went to test it out.......
.......which saw me standing as water rained from my ceiling, clutching the electric heater i tried to save from the initial waves. "Where's the safest place for me to hold this heater," i queried of our plumber's assistant, as we stood in the water (dripping even through the blades of our ceiling fan) and stared in a shocked sort of wonder. "Unplug it," he logically suggested. Not my most intelligent moment.
The plumber then agreed to come back the next day to try and fix these problems and restore water to the upstairs. He capped the upstairs for the night, so we would at least have water downstairs. He asked me if i really cared about our ceiling. i said, "no." What i cared about was water. Laundry. Showers. Doing my hair in any style but the "i have washed it in over a week and wasn't assidous enough in the beginning about combing it, so it's a tangled gnarled mess, but if i do this tightly and coiled enough maybe you won't notice" bun. The bucket of human excrement remained on the kitchen sink, as it was still being dripped into.
Today i went to work, and my brother handled the plumber. It's still not done, though not through fault of his really. We only lost, maybe two square feet of ceiling. He restored hot water to the upstairs. However, he believes we have a frozen mass in the waste pipe still. We can't, he says, do much until it thaws. When it does, i (bubs claims he cannot stand on the sink, so the duty falls to me) get to climb back atop the sink, scrape off the old putty, waste, tape, and previous patching materials, and try to epoxy or bondo the waste pipe, if we can find the hole. Then i get to use glue to attach a new pvc pipe peace to the cold water pipe, located behind the frozen waste pipe, so we have both kinds of water in the upstairs. The plumber says if we get stuck we can call him.
Today bubs already gooped up a large crack in the downstairs bathroom sink drain. It appears we broke a lot in our house this frozen season. Le sigh. i ought, tonight, to go clean the kitchen- the plaster, ceiling bits, excrement, etc. Leaving fecal matter in your kitchen for too long is probably not a good idea. It, however, does not appeal to me, especially when i can't shower after doing it right now. Maybe i'll beg a friend to use their shower tomorrow, and do the cleaning right before that.
This leads to the great homeowner's loan debate, which perhaps i'll explain tomorrow. Though my computer lost internet ability after it's recent virus debacle (thank and praise the Lord!!!!!!!!!!!! that it recovered completely apparently otherwise) so i get on the internet less often.
Until then, i remain
stinkily, oily, and itchily yours-
-une.
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