stay all day with you.

Once again, it's been too long since i've posted. this may not be much of a post anyway, as i'm a mite bit distracted. we're going through the looping conversation again. i've not had a car for around three weeks now. mom doesn't deal very well with this. actually, she's been off lately. it seems like it's been this way every since her med change- she was without briefly, and then the dose was upped. the medicine is supposed, i think, to help her maintain her emotions- but she seems more confused and antsy than before. this may warrant a call to her doctor tomorrow.

she's been doing well with her day center, thank and praise God!!!!! (for all!!!!!). she only goes two days a week, and she fights on the way to it and while getting ready for it, but she seems to have fun whilst there. the problem with that is bubs said someone was yelling at another man- one of the staff. i'm going to call tomorrow i think and report it. i am not paying to send my mom somewhere she might get yelled at.

the nurse practitioner wants to send me to a nuerologist maybe, because of my head pains, and the confusion i was having before. "because of my family history" she said. now i'm sure nothing's wrong, and i think she doesn't think anything is either, but the idea is a little scary, especially on days like yesterday where i couldn't dredge up terms like "cookies and cream" while ordering ice cream at first. i'm hoping it's my normal hypochondria, and my worrying about it making it seem more drastic. it seems to be worse around my period actually, this summer was when i first noticed it as i caught myself saying one thing but thinking to say another, writing half of numbers and then catching it, and returning to my former speech impediment (catching myself catch up on r's and w's sounds).

she also wants me to get my heart checked. again, it's for the problems i've had for years. jump in my chest that can be strong enough to make me cough. i think she's just overly cautious, but while she thinks it's fine she says it's her job to make sure there's nothing wrong. she had me do bloodwork, but i wasn't able to keep the appointment to discuss it because of the no car situation. i'm trying not to tell anyone any of this. i don't want to be told i'm a hypochondriac again, even while i hope i am. so i don't plan on keeping that appointment until i have a car again, and no one needs to know. when she tells me i'm fine, that way, no one else will think i was being stupid. when she first ordered the ekg and halter test, i never did them. the "feeling myself breathe" went away, and my sister lectured me again that i have anxiety and am fine. but when i went back to the doctor because my head was hurting, she lectured me because i hadn't had the tests she ordered. sigh. oh well.


of course please don't take me seriously. i am fine, i'm sure, Lord willing. and God takes care of me and seems, by His grace, Lord willing, to be patient with my hypochondria. here's praying i always stay fine. :OD.

this is my blog though, and thus my place to type out even the silly things.

okay, mom's mumbled expletives, etc. continue. i'm tired, and may take a nap prior to my five o'clock Bible study. i think my youth group is ending. i wonder a bit if this is God's way of preparing for me to leave the church.